21 Things About Me

(Professional stunt double on closed course, do not try this at home.)

1. I am taller than the average bear.
2. I can juggle.
3. I received my B.A in econ from UCI.
4. A big blue ball came from the sky and made me tall (you’ve seen the photo).
5. I practice good hygiene.
6. I require stitches every few years.
7. Several years ago I was younger.
8. I’ve served cocktails to celebrities.
9. When I was a child I wanted to be a poet (I assumed people were paid to do such things).
10. When I was 24 I won $75 in a poetry contest.
11. The poem, titled The Slight Remorse of an Uncooked Soul, was lost to flames
when my house burned down. Oddly, a German translation still exists.
12. I watched my house burn down on TV.
13. I rarely feel remorse.
14. One summer I lived in my van, not because I had to, I just thought it would be cool.
15. I used to be an avid windsurfer; now I do crossword puzzles. My dream is to be able to do both of these activities frequently, although not simultaneously.
16. These days I am a casual windsurfer, occasional mountain biker and full-time
procrastinator.
17. I lived in Berlin but didn’t cross dress.
18. I’ve never been to France.
19. I’m allergic to milk but am able to eat cheese. I like cheese.
20. I’ve never been married and I always assume people can tell this when they meet me.
21. I grew up and went to high school in Riverside. Currently, I live in Laguna Beach.
22. This list actually contains 22 “things.”

South African Wine

Here is an essay I wrote a couple of years ago on South African. It was for a contest. I won second place and received a free case of wine. The first place winner got a free trip to South Africa.

South African Wines Come of Age

South African wines have come of age, and it has only taken 300 years for it to happen. To be fair, South African wines have undergone a major renaissance in only the past decade. A new generation of winemakers has brought artistry and passion to the country’s culture of wine production. These winemakers, many who developed their craft in some of the world’s most prestigious wine regions, have infused new ideas and technology into South African wine industry. The results have been quite satisfying. South Africa has found it’s own niche in the world of winemaking. The country’s award winning wines combine old world elegance and new world dynamism. The terrior driven wines are well structured – with firm tannins in the reds and food friendly acidity in the whites – yet endowed with enough fruit character to please the most modern of palates.
South Africa’s winemaking community certainly has old world ties. Grape growing in the country dates back to the 1600’s. The landscape in the classic wine growing regions of Stellenbosch, Constantia, Walker Bay, Paarl and Franschhoek, is dotted with whitewashed Cape Dutch houses – architectural remnants of the colonial era. Many vineyards have plantings of decades old, untrellised bush vines on their estates. Unfortunately, for much of its history, the Cape did not produce high quality wines. The potential was always there, but it was slow to evolve. Trade sanctions against the apartheid era government hampered the wine industry’s development. Apartheid ended in 1994 as Nelson Mandela was elected president. Today, trade restrictions are now all but forgotten. The resulting free flow of ideas, capital and technology has brought about a new era for South African wines. No longer is the goal just to harvest grapes. Cape winemakers are doing everything possible to maximize the potential of each vineyard and each bottling.
Classical ideas have not been forsaken; quality winemaking goes hand in hand with careful and conscious farming techniques. South Africa has emerged as a leader in sustainable viniculture. Moreover, vintners have learned to assess the lay of the land. A necessary knowledge of terrior has emboldened regional wineries. South Africa has various climates and microclimates. Winemakers have successfully planted varietals and clones to match the potential of each individual vinicultural region.
Chenin Blanc, known as Steen in colonial South Africa, was the first widely planted varietal in the country. The Steen was first harvested to produce brandy and fairly pedestrian wines that suited the colonial palate. Chenin Blanc is still South Africa’s most widely planted varietal, but the wines produced are far from pedestrian. South African Chenin Blancs tend to fall into two categories. First there are the straightforward, fresh and affordable Chenins with bright fruit and less demonstrative acidity. These wines, although not serious or heavy, still have enough concentration and depth to make them notable. They are fun, sunny day wines that hold up well to light food. The second class of Chenin Blancs are produced from mature, lower yielding bush vines. These vines yield bottlings which are more concentrated and more complex. The bush vine Chenin Blancs are generally aged in oak barrels as opposed to stainless steel and are therefore age worthy and capable of being paired with richer and more flavorful foods.
Sauvignon Blanc does not have a long storied history in the Cape, but it is being planted in greater and greater quantities. South African Sauvignon Blancs tend to have ample levels of acidity and somewhat concentrated aromatics ranging from earthy capsicum, to citrus and lush stone fruit. These wines seem to be emerging as a nice compromise between the sometimes fleshy and light acid Sauvignons of California and the leaner and frequently aggressive bottlings of Marlborough.

The World's Fair

The news from Shanghai seems daunting: Are the Americans relevant? Does the United States still matter? Why does no one line up to visit the US pavilion at the World's Fair? Of course this may be old news (on several fronts), namely the crowds at the World's Fair have grown significantly larger in the last weeks and now there are long lines every nation's pavilion. So the lesson may be: We matter because there are lot of people in Asia.

But what does the U.S. have to offer the world? Yesterday was the anniversary of one of our most potent offerings...Hiroshima. But these days we aren't dropping nukes on folks (although we still have plenty if the occasion arises). These days we seem to be the world's consumers. I believe it was the economist Peter Schiff who surmised that one can view the world economy as seven people in a room - six Asians and one American. Each of the Asians have a particular task or job. The American's job is just to eat. Schiff postulated that one day the Asians will figure out that they can eat more and the American will be obsolete. But Schiff's model doesn't relate the entire picture. We do more than just eat, we have the most powerful military in the world. We eat and we instill fear.

I'm not sure what the USA Pavilion at the world's fair offers. Perhaps we have exhibits on the new electric car technology or new oil well-capping technology or sculptures made out of plastic bags. If I could design the exhibit, I would divide the pavilion into two parts: one representing the future and one representing the present. For the "future" exhibit, there would be rows of recliners with thirteen-year-old boys playing Wii on big-screen TV's. Every boy would possess a super-size bag of potato chips to help sustain his wrist movements. The "present" exhibit would consist of an enormous Rube Goldberg machine with an initiating lever marked "freedom." Folks - folks like us- could line up to pull the lever. On the far end of the machine would be a "freedom hater" - an individual who is definitely not like us. Pulling the lever would initiate a series of machinations - links in a crazy causal chain - that would eventually result in the death of the "freedom hater." But wait there's more. Each lever puller would get a commemorative token, carefully placed in a fresh plastic bag.