21 Things About Me

(Professional stunt double on closed course, do not try this at home.)

1. I am taller than the average bear.
2. I can juggle.
3. I received my B.A in econ from UCI.
4. A big blue ball came from the sky and made me tall (you’ve seen the photo).
5. I practice good hygiene.
6. I require stitches every few years.
7. Several years ago I was younger.
8. I’ve served cocktails to celebrities.
9. When I was a child I wanted to be a poet (I assumed people were paid to do such things).
10. When I was 24 I won $75 in a poetry contest.
11. The poem, titled The Slight Remorse of an Uncooked Soul, was lost to flames
when my house burned down. Oddly, a German translation still exists.
12. I watched my house burn down on TV.
13. I rarely feel remorse.
14. One summer I lived in my van, not because I had to, I just thought it would be cool.
15. I used to be an avid windsurfer; now I do crossword puzzles. My dream is to be able to do both of these activities frequently, although not simultaneously.
16. These days I am a casual windsurfer, occasional mountain biker and full-time
procrastinator.
17. I lived in Berlin but didn’t cross dress.
18. I’ve never been to France.
19. I’m allergic to milk but am able to eat cheese. I like cheese.
20. I’ve never been married and I always assume people can tell this when they meet me.
21. I grew up and went to high school in Riverside. Currently, I live in Laguna Beach.
22. This list actually contains 22 “things.”