Tonight at the Ali Baba hotel in Costa Mesa, my crew will re-enact the raid on Osama's Abbottabad compound. Since we were unable to secure a stealth Blackhawk helicopter, we will be using a not-so-stealth 2001 Subaru and eleven packages of G.I. Joe dolls ( complete with parachute accessories). The Ali Baba, for those who don't know, has roughly the same dimensions as Osama's compound. It also has a vaguely similar architectural style. By mere coincidence, the hotel was rated the #1 vacation spot in Orange County for the infidel-hating tourist.
Our mission will be simple: secure the perimeter and then extract any danishes that are left over from the continental breakfast. No Swedes will be hurt in the process.
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